“They really lived”

Disclaimer: after receiving initial feedback from this post, the writer must emphasize that the takeaway is to live a purpose driven life. This writer does not like to write about writing. There’s nothing to it really and the technical minded individuals see too many flaws, over-think, and criticize. This writer needs an editor. All in all, things are okay.

One year down, this writer is no longer going to wait for life. Conservatism has a particular strength in terms of limiting risk. Family and friends enjoy hearing about how little is going on because it does not challenge their preconceived notions. Is that really true? I hope not. Friends have been in short supply in Cleveland. One politician said to me that he is “friends” with many people, even those he has not met. My friends are people who I can share a genuine conversation with and hopefully bring out the best in each other. I do not believe social media acquaintanceship has anything to do with friendship. It is recipe for disaster.

AmanI lost two good friends this year. One was a high school friend who first introduced me to the public school crowd and assured my confidence to be myself. He was one of the first people to be honest with me about everything. Whether it be relationships or my book, he told me what I needed to hear, which was often painful. I do not worry about forgetting about him because his spirit lives on through so much that we built. He told me that I need to write about what is relevant to the reader. There’ll be time for that. I still have a long road ahead and the greatest mountains are still years away.

moneymanI affectionately called the other friend my “money man.” He constantly would get on my case about not caring about making money. If anyone is curious, Wild Harmony was a financial failure, as was college, graduate school, the websites, and all of my travels. I had given up on it all until I became reacquainted with these friends from after the New Year. “Money man” returned from Latin America and shared his dream of relocating to his family’s land and leaving this over-the-top capitalistic system we call America. He inspired me to press on regardless of shortcomings, but still insisted that perception is everything.

These two men were full of contradictions, as are we all. They both died in their twenty-fourth year unexpectedly and have caused a tremendous shock to all who knew them. I do not know how to express myself in public about my feelings on this matter. They were both too similar and my proximity to them at the time of their sudden departures is worrisome. We were not in hostile land. We were home. When a soldier or police-officer is killed in the line of duty, there’s an apprehension that is unique to those professions and has often been referred to as honor. My friends did not die with honor. I knew them as honorable men. The myths help.

I know what I must do next and it does not concern holding on to the past. There is not negativity in this decision. Most of the people I know of in Ohio, both family and friends, are amazing people. They have allowed me the privilege to grow up in a comfortable setting. They provided me the love that inspired me to embrace relationships. I leave Ohio for opportunity and continued growth. There’s too much muddled politics in this state and not enough people are ready for the two start-up networks that JAC Communications has been part of. Not many care to meet in person anymore unless it is ceremonial. And for those that I have come across, there seems to be a significant clique quality to their interactions.

We had a fundraiser for one of the deceased on Friday. Even with incentives and extensive promotion, it was not well attended by the greater networks that co-sponsored the thing. Those who were meant to be there were there. The gathering went late into the night and included a bachelorette party that made me lose all hope of finding a soul mate in Cleveland. The fundraiser was a financial failure, but again, I do not care to dwell on that aspect because so many people had an amazing night. My friend would have approved and his spirit was there keeping the party going well into the early hours of the morning.

I have no regrets about these financial failures. Those who expect and drive toward immediate financial success often become disappointed when the increased income does not lead to increased happiness. Everyone is different and there are no consistent rules in this game of life. Balance is the word repeated in the advice part of this experience. We all need some money to get by, but not that much. We all need a safe place to rest, but not a large spectacle of a house with unoccupied rooms. Our individual definitions of success differ wildly and is a cause of misunderstandings that often leads to disappointment.

I feel successful. That is all that matters. I am happy when I move toward my dreams. I cannot share most of what I am doing for a lot of reasons. Talk to me in person and maybe I’ll give you the low down or read the next book. This internet writing is a nice little outlet for sharing my thoughts, but I have found it to mostly be infantile. On another note, if you were one of the few readers who made it to the bottom of this drivel, all of my websites have been compromised by some hacker who is hell bent on wasting my time. So, thanks for taking a time and get in touch if you want to share an idea or two.